Last Week I was in Montana but now I'm in Puerto Rico

Flying over Puerto Rico with tears of joy

8-10-18

Where I was Last Week

Last week I was in Montana living in a hotel room that became my residence after a house fire. My life was scattered around me, shoved in drawers, cabinets and flooding out of my truck. I spent the last two months cramming stuff in my closet sized storage unit and giving random things away to any one willing to take something. 

This is actually an art project I did with my niece and daughter in my hotel room, but it's a good representation of what my life looked like at the time. 

Today I’m sitting in a jungle tree house with a view of the Caribbean in Rincon, Puerto Rico wondering what the hell just happened.

What happened was that life as I knew it five months ago literally went up in flames and something had to change.

Faulty, ancient wiring: this is what happens when you neglect your house-and your life. 

I had to get a life. Not the one I had, but a new one that felt more like me. A drama free- no strings attached-joyful-life in a sunny place by the Ocean. One that nourished my spirit and resonated with my life vision. 

No matter what.

My life depended on it.

And most importantly, it had to be done before winter which is next month in Montana.

Seriously, it never ends

For at least the last three years I've been promising myself I wouldn’t endure another torturous winter. This last time I meant it.

Last winter hurt.

Ouch

To make a long story short, a house I moved into with my husband, daughter and mother-in-law caught on fire, I quite my thankless job, my husband and I separated and before I knew it I bought a one way ticket to Puerto Rico.

I’m in Puerto Rico because it feels right for me. My initial plan was to return to Galveston Island but that's not how my path unfolded. Maybe later, but right now I'm exactly where I was guided to be. 

I am doing  volunteer work exchange which affords me a place to live and an awesome work experience while I figure out what my next move is.

 I LOVE MY WORK.

And I love living in a tree house overlooking acres of fresh, lush, exotic scenery with an ocean backdrop. 

This is one of the views from the deck of my tree house room

This is another view-during a sweet storm

I feel like I did something right to be here, to meet the amazing people I have in the very short time I've been here. And I am extraordinarily grateful. 

My job is perfect for me because I get to run through the jungle with a machete and clippers clearing Jurassic Park size gardens that were devastated by Hurricane Maria.

With every tree limb I hurl over the edge and each pesky plant I yank out by its stubborn roots, I feel stronger and more purposeful. I get to witness vibrant gardens emerging from the chaos of debris, scattered bamboo and strangling vines.

I see myself in those gardens.

Emerging Gardens=Emerging Self

I am making connections between my efforts in the gardens and my own transformations.

It's hard work. 

The other day my work was especially intense, hot and took everything I had. I worked on one spot in particular, determined to see it cleared of the seven foot stalks of prickly grass blocking the sun from the garden below. My clothes were sweat soaked and I was itching from bug bites, sweat and sun-just shy of delirium. Part of me wanted to leave the rest for the next day but every time I sat down to assess my progress (and eat mangos), I was drawn back to it. To finish what I set out to do.

That day I went to a quiet beach, Tres Palmas Marine Reserve, also known as Steps Beach. It was my reward for time spent digging deep into my soul. I was at peace being alone with myself.